Skip to main content

Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drunk

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe told his story first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they're hatched."

"Excellent!" said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far.

Next it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen ... Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete."

"Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.

"Aunt Karen drank the whisky on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."


"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?"

"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drunk."
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Sinking Ship

There were three ships which were nearby when the Titanic sunk. One of them was known as the Sampson. It was 7 miles away from the Titanic and they saw the white flares signaling danger, but because the crew had been hunting seals illegally and didn't want to be caught, they turned and went the opposite direction away from the Titanic. This ship represents us and people like us if we are so busy looking inward at our own sin and lives that we can't recognize when someone else is in need. The next ship was the Californian. This ship was only 14 miles away from the Titanic, but they were surrounded by ice fields and the captain looked out and saw the white flares, but because the conditions weren't favorable and it was dark, he decided to go back to bed and wait until morning. The crew tried to convince themselves that nothing was happening. This ship represents those of us who say I can't do anything now. The conditions aren't right for it and so we wait until cond...
Post a Comment
Read more

Be Happy (A True Story)

Around twenty years ago, I was living in Seattle and going through hard times. I could not find satisfying work, and I found this especially difficult, as I had a lot of experience and a Masters degree. To my shame, I was driving a school bus to make ends meet and living with friends. I had lost my apartment. I had been through five interviews with a company and, one day between bus runs, they called to say I did not get the job. I went to the bus barn like a zombie of disappointment. Later that afternoon, while doing my rounds through a quiet suburban neighborhood, I had an inner wave - like a primal scream - arise from deep inside me, and I thought, "Why has my life become so hard? Give me a sign, I asked, a physical sign, not some inner voice type of thing." Immediately after this internal scream, I pulled the bus over to drop off a little girl. As she passed, she handed me an earring and said I should keep it in case somebody claimed it. The earring was stamped me...
Post a Comment
Read more

Never Judge a Book by its Cover

As she stood in front of her primary 5 class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Koko Bassey. Mrs. Thompson had watched Koko the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Koko could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Koko's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Koko's primary 1 teacher wrote, "Koko is a bright...
Post a Comment
Read more